Here's looking at you kid.

Bars are a pretty unique thing... They're really amazing when you think about it. It's one building... one building where, because the government allows them to, they sell one product that brings hundreds of people together at a time for one cause. You hear that kind of stuff a lot in society, but it usually has to do with a cause, an event, tragedy, or something significant. Not this... this is something special... this is a bar.

Fuck MySpace, Facebook, twitter, flickr, or any other 'social network.' Bars, restaurants, clubs, these are the original social network. For no reason, hundreds of people from different backgrounds, places, families religions, everything, come together for some common reason; booze. We go out, we get all hammered up, we have fun, and WE MEET PEOPLE. It happens in real life, with real words. Whether its hitting on someone, or just random conversation, we meet people, we get their numbers or e-mail, and we add them to our 'friend list.' It happened hundreds of years ago, it happened before prohibition, it happened during prohibition, and it happens now. Which brings me to another term. Alcohol, is a 'social lubricant.' It looses us up, gets us irrational, gives us liquid courage or liquid confidence. It is this social lubricant that created this original social networking. Never let it die, continue to add friends!

A bartender is subjected to a whole new society. As I mentioned before, bartenders are more than just servers; were shrinks, were detectives, were doctors, were listeners. It's because of this that we lead 2 lives. Our normal life, and our bar life. At the bar, I have friends, I have regulars. People who come to see me, talk with me, and share with me. I know things about these people. I know their jobs, their family, their problems. These people are my friends... at the bar. Sometimes, these people are my friends outside of the bar, sometimes the bar friendship progresses beyond while just being at work. Whether it be a girl you meet, or someone you start hanging out with, it happens. A majority of the time however, these people remain only a friend of yours while your behind the bar. You continue to learn, share, and develop, but while only at work. That is exactly what Facebook is too right? We all add people we barely talk to, people who aren't really our close friends. So you have friends, and you have Facebook friends... I tell ya, its the ultimate social network

So, I love my social network. I would take it over Facebook any day. I meet soo many people, have real conversations, with real words, in real time. Bars are way better than Facebook or anything else! So whether it's someone who is my friend Friday and Saturday nights, or someone who said he'll teach me how to use word press.... They're all my friends and I hope I continue to make 'em.

Anyway... I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


Rule #5 - Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

Peace

Liquid Courage...

So, as you know, this blog is about bars. It's about working at a bar, being at a bar, drinking at a bar, even falling asleep at a bar. Usually, I'll have a couple drinks while at work, and I do my blogs after works. It is relatively easy to come to the conclusion, I'm most likely 'under the influence' while writing these blogs. You might be surprised how exceedingly difficult it is to write a blog (and sound at least slightly intellectual) after having a few... Anyway, it's hard. It takes me forever, and I forget a lot of details. However, there's one thing that sets my blog apart from other similar blogs.... That being said, keep in mind it is Sunday night, and I had one or two.

Anyway...
We have all heard the saying 'throw your inhibitions to the wind' when people are talking about doing something unusual. I hear that at work occasionally, but, I have to say... throwing your inhibitions to the wind, is doing something out of character, not doing something because your wasted. Making an ass out of yourself when your drunk is no different thatn making an ass out of yourself when sober... it's just easier. We also constantly hear the term `liquid courage.` That term, is a real term friends. Liquor courage, is the drunk equivilent of throwing your inhibitions to the wind. It just means you don`t have the balls to do it when your sober... hence liquid courage. Anyway, I see this far too often at work. People get all boozed up and thing they`re tough, or they think they can dance, or (and best of all) is they think the member of the opposite sex might actually be interested. Here come a couple rules to live by when hitting on a member of the opposite sex while at a bar.
1. Buying a random girl a drink still works, buying all of her drinks, does not.
2. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she probably does not like you.
3. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
4. If she buys you a drink, she probably likes you.
5. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
6. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
7. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

Working behidn the bar, I have never in my life seen so many failed pickup attempts. It`s great. I`m not saying I know how to pick up girls, im not Tucker Max. I`m just saying there are certain things you notice happen pretty consistently among drunk dudes. So... Read and Head gentleman!

There are 86 rules to boozing... everyone who drinks needs to know them. Every week I'm going to end with one of those rules so if you have to, write them down.

Rule #30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink. - Seriously.. Don't

Anyway fuckers, that's it. Thanks for reading and have a good week!!

Peace

Well... That Was Awkward

So its Monday night, and here I am working at the bar I work at every Monday night. The night began as usual, sweep, mop, set up the bar, clean, then stand around bored for a few hours. It took a little while for things to get interesting but... they sure got interesting.

Every Monday is 25 cent wings... can't really beat that. I get a load of regulars showing up, a lot of staff from the other bar I work at, and always a few randoms. It usually ends up being a pretty decent night, making at least $100, and never leaving sober. Anyway... fate had something special planned for this night.. something very special.

One of my co-workers arrived around 9:30pm for wings and a few drinks. She brought with her, a friend, Kyle, who was celebrating his 19th birthday. 19th birthdays are always fun for a bartender. It's up to us to decide their fate, shall they remember the night, will they ever want to drink again, will they get laid, will they embarrass themselves... it's always fun. Anyway, they start off with some wings, a few spiced rum and cokes, then we get into the heavy stuff. Jager, tequila, bombs, my own creations, everything. He holds up pretty well, remaining eerily polite, and keeping his head up. A couple hours go by and he's looking like he's gonna make it home ok. I decide to change things up (un-beknownst to either of them) and supstitute his shot of tequila for one of Jamesion Irish Whiskey.... sorry dude.

Kyle goes to the bathroom a short while later, which is relatively normal for someone drinking. All seems to be going normally until about 25 minutes go by and we think "fuck, where is kyle?" We get a key to the bathroom, and sure enough, kyle is there, in what has to be the most awkward position he has ever been in. There lies kyle, asleep (passed out), passed out, face down in his own thrown up chicken wings (hot/honey garlic). This dude, THANK GOD, made it to the bathroom... he also however managed to miss the toilet, the garbage, and even the sink. Vomit everywhere.

Kyle remains 'asleep' for 45 minutes until he comes to, requiring someone to hold him up (thank god you were there). At which point the only word out of his mouth were "fuck off I'm gonna shit! I'm gonna shit!" Kyle wips down his pants for everyone to see and sits down on the toilet. Im not sure if he wiped, I don't knwo what else he did, I had seen enough. For the rest of the night, Kyle became the product of ridicule, pictures, videos, comments, and some slight rough-housing (way to be Nessa).

Needless to say.. Kyle likely won't be drinking for a while, If ever again. Sorry K, but if you wanted something easy and harmless for your 19th birthday, well... fuck you.

So... that was a MONDAY night.... think about it.

More to come after the weekend.

peace.

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog.
After 4 years of bartending, and working at more than 10 different venues, I have come to learn and see a lot of stuff from behind the bar. Being behind the bar makes you much more than a bartender. A good bartender is a shrink, a problem solver, a doctor, a detective, an engineer, a chemist, a showman, a preacher, a listener, and a people watcher. Even after 4 years of taking Sociology at University, I have learned more about human behavior by simply watching from behind the bar.

You witness all kinds of things, and you experience every human emotion whether it be your own, or those of the patrons who enlist your fine skill. You witness love, hate, lust, deceit, greed, you see it all. You see people laugh and cry, you see hearts break, you see people fall in love, and occasionally, you get to see people puke. I have stories you would not believe. That being said, this blog is going to tell you some of those stories, it will teach you the ways of the force. I'll tell you some of the secrets that bartenders don't want you to know, I'll tell you why we do things the way we do, and I'll teach you how to get better service.

Stick around, tune in, and you'll hear plenty of stories, you'll have plenty of fun. Check back every week for a new blog.

Peace