Don't hurt me Arch... I'm only little!

Good afterevening ladies and gentlemen,  although my comeback blog promised a weekly update I am simply too lazy and work too muchto follow through.  As a result you will recieve a new blog when I'm good and ready.  While this may seem selfish on the surface, I assure you it is not.  Each blog will be carefully written, carefully checked over for errors, adn will most likely be epic every single time.  I will now give you a minute to prepare yourself for the glory that will follow....


H'okay...

"Fuck" - We've all uttered those words the day after a party.   You know... you go to a party you bring your 12 pack of Vex, you get your drink on, you have a great time and then you get a ride home with a cab or one of your friends.  You wake up in the morning and realize you left 3 of your Vex at Jeff's house. Fuck!  Consider it a loss.  We all know what gets left behind stays behind. 

However, there are certain set of rules one must abide by when adhering to such a doctrine.  Ultimately though, the rules are up to the discretion of the party host. Here in our lab, our top scientists have come up with a set of suggestions for both the party host, and the party goer. Our scientists have over 75 years of lifetime experience, and ample party hosting experience to boot.   Do what you will with these suggestions, but we feel they are pretty fair for all involved.

Beverages -
 Any host shall give a party patron 24 hours from the time the party started to collect liquid based belongings from the party location before they become part of the hosts property
        Exceptions - This rule only applies to anything less than the following - 6 pack of beer or coolers, one-third of a bottle of hard liquor, or $6 worth of non-alcoholic liquid products. Any full cases, full liquor bottles, or an excessive amount of Coke Zero should be given back (Unless your a Coke Zero whore, then we understand.)

Snacks - All party food (chips, dip, cookies, bunt-cake, special brownies, etc) becomes the party hosts property the second it is presented to the host for consumption i.e. "Hey, I brought these pastry snacks for everyone to enjoy".  Anything that is not consumed the night of the party, whether opened, consumed, or not becomes the rightful property of the host.  This rule allows the host to be compensated for hosting said event, and above all, just makes sense.
      Exceptions - If a snack is brought over in a patrons own dish (tupperware, glass bowl, casserole dish), that patron has 24 hours to collect the leftovers before the host can claim them.
                        - If a patron brings over something homemade in their own dish (dip, ice cream, moonshine) there is no statute of limitations, and a party host must respect the patrons hard work and creativity.

Personal Belongings - Any personal belongings left at a party house by a direct friend (not a friend of a friend of a friend who came) can be claimed at any time by the party who left it behind, their family members, roommates, or significant other.  Any personal belongings left over by an indirect friend are covered under the jurisdiction of the party host.  The party host may lie to the indirect friend, claiming they do not have or could not find the item in question.  This is sometimes considered a 'bitch move' and can often have consequences.  However, in cases where the host will likely never see or speak with the individual again, it is perfectly acceptable to keep the hoody for yourself.
      Exceptions - Usually in this care there are no exceptions.  Party hosts will not often steal personal belongings from a friend of theirs, however, they are often comfortable with stealing from complete strangers, especially if they have nice shit.  One exception does occur when a good friend asks for their other good friends belongings.  This is left to the discretion of the host, but usually it is best to comply with your friends request.

So there you have it.  Keep these suggestions in mind when visiting a friend for pre-drink or for a party.  If you really wanted that last Budweiser, you shouldn't have left it there, you suck.  Hosts, keep in mind this is a golden opportunity to collect random portions of alcohol, food, empties and shoes...  That being said, enjoy whatever it is you are doing for New Years, be safe, have fun, live dangerously, cry a little, and most of all, have fun.

Peace