What we've got here is failure to communicate

There are few things every club needs in order to run. Every club needs booze, employees, some sort of point of sale system, and an atmosphere... That atmosphere is the most important thing. Every bar has the same products, beer is beer, booze is booze, that's not what they are selling. The product that a club is selling is the experience. One of the most important things to a club is the music. When you step into a club and you hear the beats, you feel the bass, and you see that dance floor packed tight, you know its gonna be a good time.

Unfortunately, time and time again, I see dance floors simply empty because the DJ mixed the song wrong, or played the wrong song. When that happens it's too late, the vibe is gone, the feeling, the experience, its ruined. You can't just toss in some slow, beatless track and expect people to just invent a way to dance to it. You can't play some awful, local artists rock song for the last song of the night. People's nights can be ruined because of music, because of a DJ. DJ's are one of the single most important things a club has. Having a good, consistent DJ is like having all your lifelines while your staring Regis Philbin in the eyes. DJ's are supposed to drop beats, not bombs.

Anyway, bottom line... Wednesday night sucked

Now, lets get into some mythical shit. There's plenty of myths about what works at bars, what to do, what not to do. Some of them are real, some are not. We'll get into some of that now, so sit back, chill out, and learn a thing or two.

Myth 1. - Hold your money in your hand when waiting for a drink, that way the bartender knows you want a drink and that you have money. - You are a retard. Bartender's hate that shit, we KNOW you want a drink... you'r standing at the bar. And you better hope you have money because if you can't pay for that drink, shit is gonna go down.

Myth 2. - Bartenders have the power to give out free drinks, they can do anything - Wrong, shut up! Giving away free booze is stealing. Bartenders all have a boss, that boss likes making money. Every free drink is one less drink sold. Don't ask, don't assume, it isnt gonna happen. If you get a free drink, you got lucky.

Myth 3. - I get a free drink because it's my birthday - Congradulations, just like every other person in the world, you have a birthday. You think bars want to give out free drinks to 19 year old girls that go bar to bar getting their free birthday shot? No. again, shut up!

Myth 4. - Banging on the bar, and yelling "hey" will you get you service faster. - Maybe go fist yourself. I'm not your personal assistant, I am not at your beckoned call. Be respectful, wait your turn, and learn our fucking names.

Myth 5. - Ordering a shot to do by yourself is cool. - No, it isnt. Get a friend.

Anyway, there are plenty more myths and do's and don't but I'm tired as fuck and I'm trying to watch Minority Report.

So remember, Stay Fit and Have Fun.

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer, and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." - Frank Zappa

Rule #57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

Peace